Episode 280

What Happens When You Stop Abandoning Yourself | For Parents of LGBTQ Teens

Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world.

What if the exhaustion you feel has less to do with who you are and more to do with how long you’ve been pretending?

In this Friday Reset: The Butterfly Effect, Heather reflects on her powerful conversation with Stef Vachon and explores what happens when survival mode slowly disconnects us from our authentic selves.

So many people learn early that being fully themselves feels unsafe.

We shape-shift.

We perform.

We shrink.

We prioritize belonging over authenticity.

And eventually, we lose touch with who we really are.

In this deeply reflective episode, Heather explores:

  • The difference between surviving and truly living
  • How shame disconnects us from ourselves
  • Why authenticity can feel unsafe
  • The grief of abandoning parts of ourselves to fit in
  • Reconnecting with joy, creativity, identity, and truth
  • Why healing is often less about becoming and more about remembering

This episode is for anyone who:

  • Feels disconnected from themselves
  • Is tired of performing for acceptance
  • Wants to feel more grounded, authentic, and alive
  • Is healing from shame, people-pleasing, or hiding
  • Needs permission to take up space exactly as they are

You are not broken.

You adapted.

And maybe now you get to come home to yourself.

Press play to listen now and If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that they do not have to earn the right to be themselves.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

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Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers practical guidance and education to parents and allies, fostering empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community—including gay, lesiban, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals—through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.



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About the Podcast

Show artwork for More Human More Kind: Allyship Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
More Human More Kind: Allyship Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
Parenting and Allyship Skills to Advocate for Your LGBTQ Teen with Love, Confidence, and Deep Understanding

About your host

Profile picture for Heather Hester

Heather Hester

She’s a butterfly in motion—transforming spaces, stories, and hearts. Heather Hester is a rare blend of fierce advocate and gentle guide, using her voice to build bridges across divides. As the host of *More Human. More Kind.*, author of *Parenting with Pride*, and founder of Chrysalis Mama, Heather doesn’t just speak about love, allyship, and authenticity—she *embodies* them.

Her superpower? Turning complex, messy truths into clear, compassionate conversations that leave you feeling empowered, curious, and just a little more human. From Substack to podcast, workshop to stage, she creates spaces where healing is possible, voices are heard, and no one stands alone.

Whether she’s amplifying marginalized stories, coaching parents through life’s pivots, or unpacking the First Amendment with a side of soul, Heather leads with purpose and heart. She’s not here for surface-level support—she’s here to change how we show up for each other.

Married to the funniest guy she’s ever known and mom to four extraordinary kids (two of whom are LGBTQ) and one sassy mini Bernedoodle, Heather is all about showing up with humor, humility, and heart. You can almost always find her with a cup of coffee in hand—at her computer, on her yoga mat, or dancing in the kitchen to her favorite playlist. She believes in being fully human, embracing the messiness, and helping others do the same.

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