Episode 266
When Grief Keeps Coming Back: A Gentle Reset for Parents Learning to Carry Loss With Love
What if the goal isn’t to “move on” from grief, but to carry it differently?
Many of us feel pressure to be “over it” by now, to fix our pain, or to move forward faster. But grief doesn’t work that way. It returns, shifts, and lingers, not because you’re doing it wrong, but because love doesn’t disappear.
- Learn a healthier, more compassionate way to live with grief
- Release the pressure of timelines and “getting over it”
- Discover simple, meaningful ways to honor love while moving forward
Press play to learn how one gentle shift in perspective can help you carry grief with more peace, presence, and self-compassion.
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At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers practical guidance and education to parents and allies, fostering empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community—including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals—through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Friday Reset, the Butterfly Effect.
Speaker A:This episode is the antidote to the heaviness you are feeling in this complicated world.
Speaker A:Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.
Speaker A:I'm Heather Hester.
Speaker A:And here we talk about fear, belonging to boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.
Speaker A:Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed.
Speaker A:They need a parent who is grounded and strong.
Speaker A:Let's take a breath and let's begin.
Speaker A:Foreign.
Speaker A:Welcome to More Human, More Kind.
Speaker A:I'm Heather Hester.
Speaker A:This new series of episodes are meant to be a space to slow down, to come back to yourself, and to gently integrate what we've been exploring together this week.
Speaker A:Insight is really powerful, but it's the smart, small, steady shifts, the daily shifts that actually change how we live, how we love, and how we show up for the people who matter most.
Speaker A:Each Friday, I will offer you one word, one small action, one quiet act of courage, and one sentence you can carry with you.
Speaker A:It's not meant to overwhelm you, but to remind you that even in uncertainty, heavy, or complicated times, you are not powerless.
Speaker A:Small shifts create real change, and this is where we practice that together.
Speaker A:If you've listened to the past few Tuesday episodes, you'll remember that we spent a lot of time in the landscape of grief, not just naming it, but really sitting with it.
Speaker A:And if that stirred something in you, whether it was a memory, a loss, a quiet ache you thought you had already made peace with, you're not alone.
Speaker A:Grief has a way of returning.
Speaker A:Not because we're doing it wrong, but because love doesn't disappear.
Speaker A:Grief doesn't end.
Speaker A:It just changes shape.
Speaker A:Most of us were never taught how to live with grief.
Speaker A:We were taught how to fix things, how to move forward, how to be strong.
Speaker A:But grief doesn't respond to fixing.
Speaker A:It asks for something very, very different.
Speaker A:It asks for space, for honesty, for permission to feel what's still there.
Speaker A:And sometimes the most healing thing we can do is to stop asking, how do I get past this?
Speaker A:And start asking, how do I live with this in a way that honors the love?
Speaker A:So this is your Friday Reset, your butterfly effect, one small shift that can create a meaningful change.
Speaker A:So let's start with your word of the week.
Speaker A:Take this.
Speaker A:Tuck it in the back of your mind and use it whenever you need a small mindset shift.
Speaker A:This week's word is carry.
Speaker A:Not move on.
Speaker A:Not let Go not be over it.
Speaker A:Carry grief isn't something we leave behind.
Speaker A:It's something we learn to hold differently.
Speaker A:To carry the love, to carry the memories, to carry the impact someone had on who we are.
Speaker A:So this week, instead of asking, why is this still here?
Speaker A:Try asking, how do I want to carry this forward?
Speaker A:Your tiny action this week is simple, but it really matters.
Speaker A:Take one quiet moment and say their name out loud.
Speaker A:If your grief is for an idea or a plan, say that out loud.
Speaker A:And if it feels right, pair it with one memory.
Speaker A:A laugh, a moment.
Speaker A:A small detail only you would remember.
Speaker A:Grief softens when that love has somewhere to go.
Speaker A:You don't have to do anything big.
Speaker A:Just let the love move.
Speaker A:Your micro rebellion is this.
Speaker A:I will not measure my grief against anyone else's timeline.
Speaker A:Say that again so it really sticks with you.
Speaker A:I will not measure my grief against anyone else's timeline.
Speaker A:There is no one right.
Speaker A:Wrong way to grieve.
Speaker A:There's no finish line, no moment where you're suddenly done loving someone or something.
Speaker A:If it's been years and it still shows up, that's not failure, that's connection.
Speaker A:So this week, if the voice of I should be over this by now shows up, meet it with truth.
Speaker A:There is no expiration date on love.
Speaker A:And finally, here's one line I want you to carry with you.
Speaker A:Grief is love continuing in a different language.
Speaker A:When it shows up unexpectedly, when something small brings everything rushing back, when you can feel it in your body before you can explain it, that's not you falling apart.
Speaker A:That's love still moving through you.
Speaker A:So if this week has felt heavy, if grief has felt close to you, I just want you to know that you are not behind, you're not doing it wrong.
Speaker A:And you are definitely not too much.
Speaker A:You're human.
Speaker A:And this.
Speaker A:This is what love looks like when it doesn't have a physical place to land anymore.
Speaker A:So be gentle with yourself.
Speaker A:Carry it in a way that feels honest.
Speaker A:Let it move when it needs to move.
Speaker A:And if you want to share your butterfly effect this week, I'd love to hear it.
Speaker A:Just one sentence saying, this week, I'm choosing.
Speaker A:Whatever it may be, you do not have to hold this all alone.
Speaker A:Thank you for being here and for doing this work and for choosing to stay open even when it's hard.
Speaker A:New episodes of More Human, More Kind drop every Tuesday and Friday.
Speaker A:Then you can click on the link in the Show Notes to join me on Substack for deeper, more human discussions just like this one.
Speaker A:And if this episode supported you share it with someone who might need it, too.
Speaker A:Until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and keep choosing to be a little more human and a little more kind.
Speaker A:Sam.
